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french kiss
November 2009 
How are you different from your parents?
Posted on Aug 17th, 2009
by 
B.B.
B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 17, 2009:
I carry around a lot less hurt,and yet I have blue eyes
My parents never dwelled on their childhoods,never used them as excuses,never threw in people's faces, instead the ambition that often stems from adversity was used well,and they both were incredibly loving and successful people.
They were also amazing parents,they needed to be with an autistic son,a second son who found jesus for a bit then became a republican OMG!!!!!!! but still managed to remain a pretty cool brother nonetheless,shout out to my bros,and me.....hmmmm,me the loony expat
It has been my experience that people who come from adversity like my parents did,extreme poverty,physical and emotional abuse long illnesses ( my mother was in a sanitorium for 5 years with TB),jack up the living factor,it's not always the case but some of the coolest most successful people I know pulled themselves out of a stinky mire.
There was no real mire for me unless you count me navel gazing myself into depression,or the feel of life that happens when you live it,my parents carried themselves with integrity and I felt loved and still do. Where we differ,I lack clean direct focus at times,am not competitive/ambitious to save my life,and have been known to go on over the little things for like forever,I also can also wallow in self pity for hours,who am I kidding for days,and I am not overtly demonstrative with strangers which I think is a good thing,however when you live in a place where you two cheek kiss acquaintances you can come off a little aloof. Fuck I am aloof,aloof and blessed with a potty mouth.
How am I different from my parents I carry around a lot less pain,and that is a testament to how amazing they were.Now where did I get my eyes from?
Access: Public
I think even the most charmed lives have their own particular adversities, their own cloudy mires. And at every level of adversity, there are those people who take the detritus and compost it and grow something beautiful and people who let it rot and turn to garbage - but there's never a point in life where it's too late to build a compost pile.
I wish I lived in a place where people two cheek kiss aquaintances…maybe I can start the trend.
it's lovely to be able to greet each this way, yes, I'm glad I live in Montreal. was a bit surprised when my British friends from London did the same - I guess they thought when in Rome… :) how are you enjoying the heat wave? do you have air at your place or do you spend the spare time at the pool with the children?
It hasn't been that hot this summer,having rained for most of the month of June and July,it's nothing short of delightful to find ourselves amidst a heat wave in the middle of August. We never installed the AC this year,it's sitting in the basement just where we left it last fall…and the pool has been visited mostly in the last week or so,the pools close when it rains which seems rather strange considering you swim to get wet anyways.
The kissing is definitely a thing here and depending on who I'm kissing , the kisses range from hello air to full frontal lip with a little tongue,I am a selective kisser. I can be slutty about some things but I choosy when it comes to kissing.
Oh Jeannie your right, it's never too late,considered yourself bussed hard on both cheeks
B.B., I believe your ancestors are proud of you. Sounds like healing crisis' are coming through you from maybe the pain your parents have gone through. Sometimes staying with it and getting to know it can help in the process.
I admire your love for your parents. Speaks volumes about you.
Hi BB, Lately I've been thinking that compassion grows out of personal pain, like compassion is pain that love touched and somehow I think it's a lot easier if your pain is visible like people who come from homes that are just plain fucked, like the dad beats up the mom and kids or abject poverty. Or you got burned in a house fire at 2 and lost all your fingers. Yeah like everyone can see that! Yeah Painful!
But it doesn't matter what breaks your heart, it's still broken even if what did it is invisible. So it makes it even more painful because no one understands your tears and after a while even you think you're just crazy and you are definitely alone.
All I can say is I have been drawn to your deep compassion since we met and that's very real and everything that created that in you is very real.
And I love the self depreciation in “navel gazing myself into depression”.
Well I have some lint in my navel too ;-)
Aww you guys, soft smile and a nice beginning to a Wednesday morn,taking the edge off an abrupt beginning