Explore
Gaia Soulmates
 Advertising keeps Gaia free! Interested in sponsoring us?

What's the greatest thing you learned this past week?

Posted on Oct 2nd, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 02, 2009:

That they make these great coloring books for adults.

Access_public Access: Public 14 Comments Print views (103)  
Tagged with: coloring book, myriad....just bc I like the word

A list

Posted on Oct 2nd, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
Stop biting nails,one of my finger tips is beginning to remind me of the word nubbin.

Place myself in sun more,it actually feels pretty darn nice now the weather is cooler.

Dare to do a new scent,I mean c'mon I dare myself

Lay down in the middle of the park,look at the sky,just look at that sky,how could I ever think that there are limits to what this life has in store.....and besides all the panhandlers will think I'm drunk and passed out,bonus have more spare change in my pocket for Panni Mary.

I have learned to say no more,now learn to say not enough....I dare you too....so what if you are surrounded by yesers,not enough IS saying yes to something

Start making yogurt again.

Grow your own wheat grass,it will be the quickest way to get the image of the wheatgrass catastrophe of 2006 ,out of your mind

Let time caress you,let it,feel it's swervy topsy turvy caress roll over you

Tell more people how good they smell,so one of them followed you home,if it happens again pretend you live up a tree


Build a tree house

Tell the universe just how much you want a bull dog named Arthur," universe it's me, B.B. ,I want a bull dog named Arthur,I want extra rolls and since I'm on a not enough roll ( made myself giggle) how about holding back on the saliva just a wee bit,I'll actually take doggy farts over canine drool any day....I may live to regret what I just said....oh yeah if he came being able to speak english or even french, bonus,I'm not that good with barking

Take your time with words,forget how many you have wasted,if you start honoring them now somewhere someone will be smiling,or sighing or rolling their eyes.

If anything never let go of laughter...paging Mel Brooks paging Mel Brooks,and Peter Sellars,and Pierre Richard




Access_public Access: Public 10 Comments Print views (80)  
Tagged with: nubbins, list, wheatgrass

What room in your home do you spend the most time in?

Posted on Oct 4th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 04, 2009:

By far the kitchen,even if it's not in my own home.

There is a gravitational pull towards the stove towards the oven towards the counter tops and slabs of marble,and wood,spice grinders,pans that require two hands to lift and strainers that take the subtle up to the divine.
In some ways I grew up there,watching my Mother and her Mother perform alchemy,a splendid magic of edible potions,seduction obvious to me at a very young age. Cheeses and strawberries and chocolate melted then added to warm milk,nuts ground to fine powders and vegetables,oh dear the vegetables picked and taillé,this life this life
The stomach is the way to the heart,and food graced by the hand of the heart a sight to behold and equisite when savored...the kitchen holds more secrets than the bedroom....and seduced many more lovers
Access_public Access: Public 5 Comments Print views (86)  
Tagged with: Q&R, remember how we broke all the wooden chairs

What is the most important aspect or practice in your spiritual l

Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 06, 2009:

Oh dear I do react rather absurdly to the word spiritual,I think it is bc the word is so loaded,and so private. It's like asking me what does it take to bring me to orgasm,secrets to be shared with the very intimate,knowing that sharing any of this info is bound to set people up for a weird form of disappointment and longing....or boredom sigh
It also lends itself to misinterpretation and a weird pseudo bond,between reader-gatherer.
I do however encourage the world to let go into themselves ,discovery of what makes ourselves reach peak,is fundamental to the school of no regrets.
Access_public Access: Public 4 Comments Print views (69)  
Tagged with: Q&R, reach peak, secrets

Where would you choose to spend your life?

Posted on Oct 10th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 10, 2009:

The obvious answer is right here right now,bc this is what I have chosen.

On the other hand i do find myself longing for old spaces and spaces i have yet to frequent...those places yet inhabited keep me going...those spaces inhabited make me who i am
Right here right now...breathe baby girl breathe, you are without a doubt in the right place..............has anyone seen my glasses
Access_public Access: Public 3 Comments Print views (25)  
Tagged with: heart as compass

What makes something sacred?

Posted on Oct 11th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 11, 2009:

Illusions
Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (24)  
Tagged with: Q&R, sacred, hurt, illusons

Is there such a thing as a "free lunch"?

Posted on Oct 12th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 12, 2009:



Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - The Hotel








First thought was Vegas,never been heard the buffets are enough to illicit dry heaves.

How about the sun that took all of 37 secs this morning to warm my cockles so to speak.

Or that almighty feeling of relief when her fever broke Saturday morning....fear leaving with the sunrise....well maybe not fear but the "Just you never know" when you know too much,feeling.

School....it gave me as much as I gave it ,a barter system for the mind and if compared to tuition in other countries it is almost a free lunch.....if you remember to pack your soul when you leave.


How about all the eyelash batting and pseudo pouts and the posture that enhanced the genetic crap shoot,I was born with,I used and was used..... crap shoot...bringing us back to vegas,there is a price to pay for everything interestingly enough it rarely has anything to do with money,or lunches







Katy Perry Waking Up In Vegas HD New ULTRA Dance Remix Hot N Cold


Access_public Access: Public 3 Comments Print views (31)  
Tagged with: lunch? Did someone say lunch?

What confuses you?

Posted on Oct 14th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 14, 2009:



Weezer - Island in the Sun










for all of 30 mins.....Ikea-any put it together furniture that comes with instructions that make me sigh and roll eyes over and over again and question technical writers who claim to have graduated from uni....really?

Or videos where embedding has been disabled or wtf copyright stuff and how people hold on to stuff mighty tight while clutching pennies in their other hand..how will you be able to swim if the tide gets too high?

Let it be known though,that the old proverb ..Where this is a will there is a way.... is true even if it means I have spent a little tooo much time farting around motivated by pride,naughty girly girly that I have been.


Maybe in the end it isn't so much me that is confused,but the world that is taking it's time to catch up,oh well there is all this music,and fine wood,and furniture that actually comes assembled,some days being an adult rocks.....hip hip

Access_public Access: Public 7 Comments Print views (43)  
Tagged with: DIY glory

Screw Ambien ,podcasts all the way

Posted on Oct 14th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
Screw Ambien and company...although I have never taken prescription sleep aids,well at least not my own but that will be another blog,I have discovered that I don't need them,I have all I want on my iPod and with the help of iTunes and following various links I have discovered a sure way to cure insomnia......podcasts.

Reading is cool too, but what is great about the listening is really you do nothing else,no eye shifting no page turning no turning off light,zip nada,even the player turns itself off,I swear mine knows when I have fallen asleep and am soon going to start asking it for counsel on my life like some kinda weird techy eight ball thing.


Oh yeah the podcasts,it started off simple enough I went straight for the popular ones and weeded my way down to more obscure batshit crazy ones all the way to channeling something for every mood. At the moment I can't get enough of Mark Maron with WTF,and Answer Me This as well as MondoMovie and of course the standards Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode who is starting to fall from grace. I have seen and heard a zillion vegan ones and still find myself rolling my eyes at how sucky most of the recipes are and have stopped watching and listening to anything that has to do with spirituality bc I find I just get all wound up and wanna smack someone often myself...

I also found The Moth which on any given week can find me laughing crying sighing or out like a light before the end,which in itself is pretty damn amazing bc often they only last about 15-20 mins but not everyone is meant to tell a story in my ear in my bed with the lights out,I have standards.
I give them all a couple of tries and it's chem or it's not. Answer Me This with it's weird ditties and delightful accents ( british) and laughs makes me happy I am a human and a little scared at some of the other humans inhabiting the planet.

What makes this all the more fun and exciting is that there are new ones popping up each day and each one more crazy than the next....well maybe not I have listened to ones aimed at sex trade workers to ones aimed at happy suburbia wives,still out on which one was scarier ,there is a plethoria of children's as well with actual episodes of PBS shows Like storynory and gang which can make a long public transport trip with a child that gets queasy when he reads on anything thats moving,acceptable

I have been debating on whether I should get an iPhone,this could mean the end of landlines and eventually a computer if tech keeps on moving the way it is,but the 3 year contract made me break out in cold sweat,I shit you not,and I found myself in a state of pre hyper ventilation,commintments like that are too much to ask at the moment still it is a  beautiful piece of work and is basically the Swiss Army Knife of phones.

Thank you universe for podcasts,and iPods and iPhones...and iMacs OMG Steve Jobs owns my soul
Access_public Access: Public 6 Comments Print views (48)  
Tagged with: Podcasts baby podcasts

What has your response been to climate change?

Posted on Oct 15th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 15, 2009:

Yay ,new clothes.

In the 70ies they had those catastrophe films ,bugs taking on gigantic proportions bc of some weird toxic spill having been accidentally ingested....it was always accidental,there were always regrets,there was always blood and death and a shot with the boom still in it bc the budgets were low and the shooting time  short. 


I cannot remember where I read this comment but it was by Tinkonthebrink, also not verbatim went something like this

Leave a place better off than when you arrived.......

it is now my mantra,thank you 


.sorry I don't think I have spoken english in two weeks,sad excuse but I haven't had my coffee either...I think I saw a snowflake this morning,it seemed welcome on a morning where the question was this
Access_public Access: Public 5 Comments Print views (58)  
Tagged with: kindness, strength, integrity

How has your world changed over the past five years?

Posted on Oct 17th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 17, 2009:



Blue Rodeo-"Bulletproof "








I'm contemplating progressives,although the glasses on the tip of my nose has become my trademark

just to say the focus is forever shifting,and things do look mighty cool when they are out of focus,while letting instinct kick in and duck when need be

Access_public Access: Public 4 Comments Print views (21)  
Tagged with: lifestingersandthewayitfeelswhenhebitesgently

Better than

Posted on Oct 17th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.


better than chocolate,so many things are better than chocolate


better than god,baby let it go....let it go


better than that night long ago when cliches made us laugh with abandon


better than the rich green ,soft and welcoming,the smell of soil and grass

better than the way you closed your eyes and drifted into death,so rare

for a moment I am invincible,cut off from the anger,from the pain,cut off from myself this ego wrapped up in smiles and tits and a place hankering to be filled.....and still
each moment drifting into the next


the next better than
Access_public Access: Public 3 Comments Print views (43)  
Tagged with: rich greens and letting go

When did you last find someone?

Posted on Oct 19th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 19, 2009:


PORTISHEAD---PLASTIC










A few weeks ago,in a box of Cracker Jacks,this little plastic person,with a kickass sense of self and humor,and it's not like I was even looking either. A nicer version of the plastic liquid rabbit in  Donnie Darko,Cracker Jacko, able to snap anything and anyone into place,I just lurrrve it,it has made eating the sickly sweet stuff worth it.
I am surprised at how easy it is to find anything,gosh money helps too,and the 411,on the other hand I have this nagging feeling can't quite put a handle on it..,barren landscape,barren landscape...........where's Jacko,c'mon here sweetpea I gotta question

Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (55)  
Tagged with: Cracker Jack bullshit

Do you act your age?

Posted on Oct 20th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 20, 2009:

Where art thou elusive book,  the Adult Guide to Acting Your Age.

Hmmmm what chapter am I ,the chapter on middle age irreverence ....or  the hausfrau who still likes to skip rope and burp loud enough to scare the dogs,the one who solidifies when the shit hits the fan,the one you call at three a.m. bc he did something nasty,the one who will not pull a punch and will hold your gaze a%^hole ,the one whose little bum still wiggles too and fro and often leads the way,the one who will count the licks it takes till all the ice cream is gone,or until I'm gone,the one who will throw herself into the grass and sob until she hiccups,the one who people think never cry,the one people say to,you are so brave-patient-kind-.....hmmmmm really you gotta be kidding me,quick baby come dance in my head.I'm too old I'm too young,sleepy sleepy darling, did you know you are perfect


Tell me where is that fucking book bc today's the day we burn it...ooooooh matches
Access_public Access: Public 3 Comments Print views (46)  
Tagged with: no I act like me which is rather cool eh?

How often do you shift gears in life?

Posted on Oct 21st, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 21, 2009:


Graceland-Paul Simon Concert in Zimbabwe










It depends on the weather really. 

I do not drive,well I can but it's not considered legal when I do,having optioned out of the course and the test...hence no license,so I avoid the steering wheel per se and watch.

I have of late,been changing gears at a phenomanal rate,more quickly than I ever could have imagined. It is exhillarating in a new and exotic way,and reminds me of the me I left behind when I opted to let someone else drive,it was lazy,and reeked of boredom.


This leading up to the fact that I am actually doing it,I am going to go for the license drivey thing,ever snce I can remember I have wanted to do the Mississipi Delta shining like a national guitar thang,beehive optional but cool shades,and perhaps a Dr Pepper that curiuos carbonated beverage that tastes like prune juice,but in a "I'll drink that once in a blue moon way" while asking for directions at the fork in the road,and then throwing caution to the wind and just pressing the gas pedal of the car and of my soul.

Automatics and cruise control lead to complacency and then accidents,I figure if I am always aware that I am in motion in life,obliged to shift gears,somehow I'm not going to look back at where I've been,with anything other than a smile

Access_public Access: Public 6 Comments Print views (51)  
Tagged with: Driving in the snow going to meet up with Jackie

What do you do when you're bored?

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 22, 2009:

I pick at things,pick at lint,pick at scabs,pick my nose,pick apart loved ones,boredom is good for that,drama out of no where.
Access_public Access: Public 6 Comments Print views (34)  
Tagged with: knitpicking vs nose picking

Double click to experience the eighties

Posted on Oct 23rd, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 23, 2009:



Bon Jovi - Wanted Dead Or Alive








Ripe apricots, it seems as though finding that juste balance between sweetness and firmness is elusive with the apricot,delectable little fruits they are.


I'm up for amazing too,more amazing anything except I'm not hot on animal tricks or circuses,they make me uncomfortable,on the other hand anyone out there with a talking cat,well hey hats off to you and the feline



Tacky kitchy pop rock from the eighties ,well maybe not but keep the music going,I heard an a capella version ( there was a guitar so technically not but still...) of this last night in a cafe ,and wow

Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (64)  
Tagged with: youtube'sdamnembeddingdisableddoubleclicfromhell

What is easy for you?

Posted on Oct 26th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 26, 2009:

Weeding out the bullshit ( said with a cute falsetto...is that irony?),I actually have nothing against elaborations and poetic license I can even live with omission for a bit,yet eventually it turns into pure bullshit and I like it to smell pretty in my neck of the woods



Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (29)  
Tagged with: Bulldoody and it's sister denial

What would you most like to teach?

Posted on Oct 27th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 27, 2009:














2Pac - Dear Mama

Watching Mimi as she learns to tie her shoes,I don't think I taught her anything , just sort of encouraged her on and undid the knots,maybe what she is really learning is how much rooting for someone to achieve their goals, is pretty darn awesome for everyone invovlved
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (20)  
Tagged with: oh for fuck sake, as if

What weather are you today?

Posted on Oct 28th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 28, 2009:






[rare_clouds_22.jpg]












Cool,with kickass cloud formations...eventually leading into a softly lit afternoon and then ending with a pink/magenta hued sunset ,with oranges extending back as far as the eye can see.

I have been eyeing the sky a lot recently,like when I was 10 and seemed to understand the patterns without having to utter share,or read a word,upping the intensity with which I view the world around me,I do believe I am breathing deeper too,slower and deeper,maybe it's this kind of respiration that makes clouds like these
Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (11)  
Tagged with: magenta, clouds I could lick

Poke me not

Posted on Oct 28th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.


On and On and On - Wilco











Let me see what do I have to say today. It has been pretty slow around the roost and even slower here. It feels different,I was told this is bc everyone is doing facehook,I'm not sure that is the reason and how would I know anyways since I axed my account last year after having a nightmare bout the blue they used,that and a guy who still gives me the creeps managed to find me....no easy freaking feat considering so I was spooked and cancelled plus fuck all that poking was getting me riled and not in a good way.
Quiet around here bc the dynamic has changed and books have replaced whatever,and naps...well there are naps everyday

When I want to talk with someone I usually meet up like today for lunch,we'll hang I'll come back and that's the end of that.I often need to digest convos so this requires alone time,I do the phone...rarely,e-mail sporadically and skype to all of one person. I like to be alone,no I luuuurve to be alone,I like people too but in smaller doses,especially now, and not when they are poking me hello if you did that in real life I'd smack ya........really, spiritual babe I am not,unenlightened semi loner who likes to blog,and push her body and mind,lately I have been courting myself and juggling emotions in a rather impressive way thank you very much,I won't go as far as to say how proud I am of myself but I will say that I luuuuurve me,and am doing the TLC ,OCD,DIY approach.


So the girl I'm meeting knows me like the back of her hand,hmmmm would I be able to pick the back of my hand out of a lineup? anyways there is no small talk just right to the point,no holds barred and thankfully no poking,just a little jab here and there and lots of beautiful quirky bold words

We will two cheek kiss and hug,an actual hug and then the prerquisite " I'll call ya tonight" but said in french with a smile and sometimes a wink cuz she's ;like that and knows I am a semi loner who requires a few amazing people in her life,to keep her from biting strangers,to keep her from poking herself

Access_public Access: Public 27 Comments Print views (115)  
Tagged with: facehook, cloak your soul baby girl

This life,this life,this blessed life

Posted on Oct 29th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 29, 2009:



Radiohead "Lucky" Live






Uh yeah,you betcha,I just got back from walking my son to school which is literally three minutes from here,we both did the intake of breath when we stepped outside and autumn was doing this astounding beauty thing,we laughed out loud when we ran through the leaves,he is loved I am loved. I am so damn fortunate I almost feel superstitious about it,quick say Kim Po three times

 

Access_public Access: Public 8 Comments Print views (79)  
Tagged with: Beautiful Moe, thank you universe, Kim Po

Boldness with a side order of respect...oh Aretha baby

Posted on Oct 30th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 30, 2009:



The ting tings - That's not my name








A museum of the bold,



Bold choices bold colors bold fuckups bold comebacks bold love bold words,and sweet bold forgiveness


The door you come through is not the same one you leave by,.............if you ever leave,and the price of admission ,is just letting go

Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (30)  
Tagged with: Bold forgiveness, bagels, touch me

The only horror film that mattered this year

Posted on Oct 30th, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.




Let the Right One In Trailer (TADFF 2008)




Oskar: Aren't you cold?
Eli: No.
Oskar: Why not?
Eli: I guess I forgotten how. 






I read the book,saw the film ,and this being holloween eve thought what could be a better pick than a film who sees poetry rise up from the depths of horror.


Now pumpkin muffins with carrot jam ( seriously delish) or sweet potato chips ,I made both myself

Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (35)  
Tagged with: it's never o.k. to bully someone, never, loyalty is beautiful

Grateful

Posted on Oct 31st, 2009 by B.B. : I dunno B.B.
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 31, 2009:



ONCE: Falling Slowly







Picked two.so bite me....but really they aren't really played and they aren't really lived

Close my eyes and pretend aka queen of denial but I beg to differ


I also like fly on the wall,life is so astoundingly interesting,yeah fly on the wall,beautiful black fly that sends off like a prism,millions of eyes and the ability to fly,invincible,a magical fly on the wall observing this world and the craziness of life

Then I got to thinking while I ran around scouting down sparkley eyelashes and tiara,croissant and milk,dodging in and out as the rain fell in sheets,and walking briskly as it fell like powder.

I am pretty well me all the time,more intense versions of myself,more mundane versions of myself.

Lately I have felt so many things,so many emotions that I haven't dealt with in a long time, the role of wife,the one that I held so closely for what seemed like forever,fell away,this morning I am grateful for this,grateful that I let go gracefully ( well apart from the morning I used alot of bad words and slammed a door or two,while hauling a couple of suitcases and a bag full of shoes,hair looked good though),grateful that me and the word integrity are hanging ( blessed place),grateful that the anger has fallen away,and in it's place is a chance at friendship ( this is where being an adult kicks in),grateful that I am letting myself fall into somewhere slowly.




Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (57)  
Tagged with: Fly on the wall, bite me, grateful